My lack of a love life...

So, I’m pretty and smart and 23 1/2. I am awesome. But, I’m socially awkward. I’m ready to find love, but either

a. make a fool of myself in front of people and spend the rest of life being a sarcastic clown


b. want to go hide in a corner.

Any tips on how I can be better and get over my awkwardness? How do I find a happy medium?
I'm tired of being afraid. I want to feel confident and know that someone thinks I'm worth getting to know.

My Goodbye Letter

My Goodbye Letter:

Over the past few weeks, I have been saying goodbye to friends and family. Yet, I have not said goodbye to any of you. This may seem odd, but I have gotten to know many of you and wanted to say Goodbye.

So friends, thank you. You have all influenced me, been there when I’ve had a bad day, rejoiced with me, laughed and offered advice when it was needed.

To my dear friends, celtic_flicka, onceuponapillow, skyroom80, and mollivanders, thank you all for being there. You guys are amazing; don’t let anyone ever tell you differently. In my darkest moments, you have always posted a nice thought that brings a smile to my face. Thanks for being there. I really appreciate it.

Thanks lexiesloan, Katie…I love it when I find a new or updated story from you. You’ve taken two characters that I love, and have given them a whole new world. Thank you for that. You’re such a wonderful and good person. Take care of yourself, you hear me? I can’t wait to read the hundreds of stories you’ve written. Good luck with everything.

Thanks to sxymami0909 for writing Chloe and Oliver and Dean and Jo. Your drabbles and stories are amazing. Good luck to you in the future.

To the brilliant women of heroes; thanks for being my first foray into livejournal fandom. You guys were quite welcoming! To superkappa-good luck on getting out of your lease, and figuring out what you want to do next. I hope it all works out. Dragynflies-I am in awe of your writing skills and how passionate you are of your job. To cruiscin_lan, good luck on your wedding and Glee fanfics. More Mike Chen please! Faded_facade, all the best of luck with Law School, and to di_elle thanks for the great fics.

Next, to my Grey Girls. Caeryou are amazing. From your totally awesome icons (Geeks and Garcia rule) to your fanfics, you have your heart on your sleeve (or I guess on your computer). Thanks. Foibles_Fables the senior in high school…You’re gonna change the world someday. You seem so mature and I wish you the best of luck. Well in everything except your football team (hate the Steelers). Good luck in College and have fun.  Kelny7 finish some of your fics…they are quite good. Shiparker...can’t wait to be in the same country as you! Thanks to miss_blanche citron_presse and silver1989, you guys make Mark and Lexie come alive! nubantu, thanks for listening whenever I needed to vent.,

To beyond_wonder, good luck with moving your business. I hope everything works out the way you want it to. Moonshayde keep an eye on my boys, Dean and Sam…make sure they send the Devil and the Angels back to where they belong. Go Team FREE WILL! 
, go see as many plays and musicals in honor of me please.                                                                                               

Finally to the writers of Smallville, Supernatural, Star Trek, Veronica Mars, Heroes, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, and so many other Fics and fandoms...thank you all. Thank you all so much.

 Thanks everyone. You guys have been amazing. I’ll post my new blog address before I leave. Careful though, my parents are updating it…so don’t leave comments. I’ll also leave my address in case any of you feel pity on me and send me candy or spoilers. Thanks guys, and goodbye.




Three Weeks and Counting

I have 21 more days to read your wonderful fanifcs, before I begin my religious mission. That being said PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE FICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED MEMORIES AND AU AND FICS TO BE WRITTEN BEFORE I GO COLD TURKEY FOR 18 MONTHS. Thank you

This is me begging. Please.

Will you all help me?

Mission in 26 days...YIPPIE.

Now is when I need your help. For 18 months I will be without TV, and with the exception of email...the internet. So, I will have no idea what will happen to my fav characters or pairings. If I post something in June/July, will you guys reply so I can hear about what happened in TV land?

The shows I would ask about are:

Grey's Anatomy
Gossip Girl
Smallville (Mostly about Chloe and Oliver)
Make it or Break it
Criminal Minds (major stuff did anyone die)
Bones (Do Angela and Hodgins get back together)

The one tv show I don't want to know about is GLEE. I need to be surprised when I get home.

So do any of you watch these TV shows? And if so, would you tell me what happens if I post a question in June or July. PLEASE!!!

Oliver Queen and Chloe Sullivan...Couple 6

Lord help me, I seem to be drawn to pairings with handsome rich men ridden with parental issues and women who do not put up with their crap, and are often just as damaged. Wow.

So tonight’s pairing is in honor of a couple that literally took the producers and writers YEARS to become something. Tonight this couple officially and irrevocably became CANNON! Chloe Sullivan and Oliver Queen from SMALLVILLE have finally realized that maybe, just maybe, the person who understood them, who was their friend, may just the perfect person for them.

I loved Oliver and Chloe since I first started watching Smallville. I was just watching clips on Youtube, and I saw this beautiful blonde man being told by a petite pixie that she knew he was Green Arrow and she could help him. Both he and I were dumbfounded. I thought to myself, “And these two characters are not together why?” Oh right, because he was dating her cousin Lois Lane, who as anyone will tell you is the love of Superman’s life.

I patiently waited for the two of them to break up, as so the universe would turn to the Lois and Clark Show (as I have said in earlier pairings, I tend not to go for the pairing that the show demands me too in the first few episodes. For the most part you know that the leads, be it Meredith Grey and Dr. Shepherd, Lois and Clark, Booth and Brennan will eventually end up together. It’s kinda boring) so that Chloe and Oliver would get there shot.

WRONG!!! Instead of putting Chloe with an equal, she was given Jimmy Olsen and Davis Bloom. And Oliver was given Tess. Eye roll.

The reason these two are great together is because of how alike they are. Both are willing to do anything to keep those they love safe. To them, it is not about being heroic, it’s about getting the job done. Yes that might involve “killing” someone who will not be named, or shaking someone so that they are no longer on a path of destruction, but my point is they understand each other. More importantly, they trust each other. A part of Clark will never trust Lois, but with Oliver and Chloe, they already know each other’s worse moments.

I cannot wait to see how they unfold. They totally rock. Excuse me while I go watch the Warrior scene again.


Slightly Terrified

So 39 days till I leave for Brazil (as long as my Visa comes in) and I am officially terrified. What if I can't learn Portuguese? What if I don't get it? What if I'm no good?

I don't know why I'm freaking out. I've wanted this for years, but it was always in the future and now BAM it's right in front of me.

Couple 5...Epic

“I thought our story was epic. Spanning time and continents, lives ruined bloodshed.”


“You really think a relationship should be that hard?”


“They don’t write songs about the ones that come easy.”


From first kiss to last glance, Veronica and Logan are the epitome of epic. Epic and complicated.

I got into this show in 2008. I was browsing on Youtube one evening and came upon their first kiss. My first reaction was OMFG!!! From the song, to their expressions, to their chemistry, well I was hooked. I watched all three seasons online within a matter of weeks.

They are damaged, they hurt each other, but when Cassidy Cassablancas has a gun to her head, it’s Logan she texts. When he needs someone to believe him about his Mom, its Veronica he goes to.

He’s the only person who truly knows her, and she is the only person who truly knows him. Warts and all.

 That’s not to say that they ever had it easy. From boyfriends who could be brothers, to fathers who murder, to sleeping around, to drunken speeches, to rapists and Madison Sinclair, they never caught a break. Neither trusted each other, but I honestly think that (if the show hadn’t been canceled) that they would have learned to.

 They are partners. They are equals. They are Perfection. They are LoVe. They are my OTP.


2nd ER OTP


For the most part, I tend not to fall in love with who the writers want me to in the pilot episode. That was not the case for the first season of ER, with Dr. Doug Ross and Nurse Carol Hathaway.


I squealed when they finally got together. Then the moment where I knew that she was it for him and vice versa was an episode where Doug breaks hospital procedures and tries to help a baby that is addicted to heroin via his mother. Carol finds out about it, and decides to help him. When all hell literally breaks loose, and Dr. Weaver asks Carol if she knew was Doug was doing. Carol defiantly states, “Yes, I was helping him.” Carol stands by Doug. Doug stands by Carol.

They got their happily ever after.